Rich-Text of the Baptism story
It was a long wooden bar and they didn't just drink alcohol, they consumed spirits. The Baptism Bar was open for immersion of those spirits, where later on there would be loud music, but for now it was the rudiment of intoxication of the mind to that feeling of a-live numbness. You could feel the fragrance of the collective consciousness; not just the individual but the entire Baptism. Not a vague scent with slippage or loneliness; it was overpowering to both wallow in and relish in the jubilation of it all.
At the end of the bar resting an elbow around his hammerhead draft beer, he was totally into it, with no thought, worry or regard for anyone else but himself. He had gotten use to his name the hard way and just did not want the first draft coming out of the tap that was warm and tasted rotten. But that did not keep him from drinking it of course. Because like his name Nellie, he now expected that first reaction to his name by others being just like that taste of a lukewarm drink. That lucid emotion of not what you came to know and expected; unlike most all the patrons dunking themselves in the rapture of the Baptism would come to know, realize and understand the self-destructive celebration that was more than a tradition.
Holed up on the other far end of the bar next to the waitress station posted by curved brass rails, sat the opposite elbow of a lover of vodka eyeing the TV while sucking that spirit thru two small straws. For some that spirit would grow wings like a saint or horns like a devil. In between the beer and vodka the remaining congregation would worship which ever spirit, saint or devil exhaled in the glass posed in front of them. Reminiscing like the blood offering of Christ produced an inquisition of unconscious confidence of and by the sacrament.
Oh joy as to that hypocritical notion as the spirits moved my haze as I took the only vacant stool left. I actually felt like making an offering without any pressure as I would soon experience the hydrotherapy of the Baptism. Plus more than that the smells filled my nose from the tiny thin oblong kitchen of marginal space for only one cook who always was named matador as he yelled out the slender slip of opening with a plate or basket slapped on the chest high metal counter; "order up". From the minimalist menu of almost always made from scratch items, which was not true, unless you count the hand cut fries or the extra ingredient dumped in the soup of the day. By contrast looking at the oblong half a sheet of heavy old brown tatted paper menu, what you came for was the spirits to fill your soul. What a bunch of shit as I regress and regurgitate how the spirits of booze cloud the mind to feel good and make the food taste better.
As you entered the duel front doors of the Baptism directly off the street sidewalk, you were on the extended straight shot of 69 foot long promenade past the kitchen on the right with tables and bar on your left as you ended up at the bathroom in the rear as you almost stumbled past the small stage in the corner. It was almost always the bass player of the band standing on the low stage right beside the short corridor to the johns as the music added to the hallelujah of the hallucination brought about by the spirits' halo. Ok stop and cease with all the over the top use of adverb, adjective adolescence adrenaline adulterate before acrophobia of the Baptism explodes in expulsion of the spirit. Oh my gosh, again? Enough already that is the spirit of the mind talking as the music kicked in.
That unconscious spirit in the mind is at a scrawl as I realize the dude sitting in the middle stool. The bartender said in between songs, "darling what you drinking today" as if in a dream with a absolute liberating tone "TSTNTXL" comes the spirit of choice. Another baptism is about to begin with the rite of passage, with your admission to accept the spirit to release your surrender. That intimate companionship makes the bartender and patron smile as the Baptism community is a special place full of spirits. Whether it was your first kiss, your first love, your first date, your first blotter of acid, your first high, a good Christmas eve, making a snow angle, your first time to second base or for that matter your first time. Should I go on or do you get the picture of the magnitude of the event. For the sum of usual, that spirit is how it feels served up at the Baptism.
Lets' start at the front wall to wall windows letting in the only natural light in the place; if you sat at the bar and looked up at the day as a someone or something entered the front doors, you were blinded by a silhouette of the movement of a body moving in thru to the situation of a oasis as a obbligato to accompaniment any music that allows is playing in the background; exposed the spirits coming with the music and libation of the Baptism. This was to purge the purgatory of the mind into a trance like atmosphere. It was not shabby, but tasteful high old ceilings surrounding by brick walls and deep rich dark woods. Only one TV of what anyone would only see as small for a bar, but this is not that kind of place. Fumble your way to another part of town if you wanted that. With the TV muted never a sound, because always music was afloat but not before the 11 am or noon time beginning. These spirits slept in as prescribed by the idea that the church goer spirits had their own time.
Fugitive spirits travel in the margins of that space of time anywhere from the church pews to the Baptism booths to a barstool with the sweetest dress up girl sitting lady like riding sidesaddle on her throne observed and appreciated. The bartender was not the chaplain but served up the spiritual proceeding after the lonely soul of only one neon sign was lit up on open. Since you already met Nellie at one end of the bar and the opposite end the straw sucking drinker with the eye on the TV, what is the TSTnTXL that can evoke a mellow emaciated echo of a spirit by the dude who made this up like his invisible wife he always talks about, but who no one has ever seen. He went so far as to order food to carry to her inscribed by his pleasant attitude to any others within the sound of his voice. Starting the concoction with a lot of ice made the spirits rise. Using the straw as a blender and then a conduit to receive it next and then later chomp on the ice to eat and at the end chew and suck the life out of the extra lime; obviously TSTnTXL; tall single Tangney n tonic, extra lime. OMG; offered up by the emerald green bottle with essence of St Patrick's' is not always what emerged. Floating to the surface dispatched spirits with different veneers were not chemical ravaged demons.
The atmosphere was not a cathedral of religious fervor or the little chapel at a way side stop on the road or in a hospital or not more like the Wall Drug Travelers' chapel. Off the shoppers corridor, if you have ever entered the right side extended room of wood and stone; in the middle of all the stuff to purchase; past the penny smashing machine that stated you were here; you were not in this topsy-turvy climate with a totally different clientele who never would be over that summit like the full blown big old dusty hot humid tent church revival of the Baptism. Instead; let us rectify the felicitous immortality of the soul even with in the political and religious requirements with the ethical and moral obligations to commensurate achievement of wellbeing of the spirit along with a virtue of fundamental insight to ones' justified behavior. Conclusive reasoning's of this statement from your spirit combine in illumination of your total rational thinking has you totality f-'d up.
The mood of the spirit is not only the chi essence of the disposition temperament stroking the victim or victor as some may view this but more in the emotional sentiment poured out in a gut reaction of the recipient of this devoured or guzzled or tempered consumption.
At this moment of the monument of the statues of a single or couple or the threesome with one standing facing the other two sitting with their backs to the bar; can you imagine the spirits or picture your vision of your spirit induced with the others also. One longed to intertwine with the others to join in to mix it up or share with others; while others were devoted to their own silent vision.
To take the leap into the patrons of the Baptism saints here we go with how about the real hard core plunge off the deep end as you think oh my god I already feel like I am droning already so again as you already got introduced to Nellie, the vodka sucker, TnT dude, so as you can picture better than I how those three look in appearance; how about the addition of the couple who were both fools who thought love would never find them. He was the kind of guy who only cared about the bottom line and what's in it for me; while she only needed to be taken care of and would do to him whatever it took to own him by making her his bottom line. Whatever you desired or needed in a relationship was their idea of love; even if they could not understand love or a commitment that usually for them only became more pain. It was the most bizarre chance encounter that collided them to cross paths when if only they knew; the two should have just passed on by. As you feel the Baptism spirit take shape in your being it was too late for this couple in a silent stare sizing each other up for the encounter.
Now back to the deep end of the beginning of the intertwined spirts as he was still treading water and she sailed off the high dive in a full gainer as she had a hang up about her name since after her first time in grade school dealing with the other side of the playground where the boys hung out. Her choice was that how I feel with any given mood should be my name. As most would understand this could be a problem, but to her and in her spirit it made total sense in her relationships that blossomed in the Baptism. She knew how to play the game under her spirit rules. Back to her early school days in class with teachers of course she would allow the use of her given name. For that special someone she would announce her name to be used until she changed it and if that someone went along with this ritual, they were worth it and made for a special bond as far as she was concerned. Plus it was a test of how important is that one request made by her in that use of a name for the other party. She was happy to oblige the other person with a request in return too. For her she could then remember the reasons for her choice and the others choice as well. She was amazed at her recollection of memory after memory even for years to come of these different names used or requests whether small or large in the scope of how she placed in memory each episodes of a name and the relationship involved with what the other person wanted. Her name you keep asking; OK! Sandy, Bonnie, Vivian, Kristina, Jennifer, Lois, Margie, Caroline, Ana Marie, Nicole, Doris, Victoria, Mary, Bobbi, Karen, Amy, Suzanne, Debbie, Sherri, Linda, Peggy, Donna, Jackie, Diane, Connie, Betsy, Jean, Annette, Julie, Sonja, Robin, Stacy, Jody, Kendra, Terri, Nancy, Wanda, Heather, Marla, Patty, Mel, Cecelia, Tanya, Heather, Iris, Megan, Tricia, Stephanie, Amber, Jennalee, Cindy, Stacy, Judy, Salina, Angela, Roxanne, Amanda, Leslie, Velvet, betty Lynn, April, Melissa, Tammy, Patti, Samantha, Marilyn, Veronica, Felicia, Carrie, Susan, Monica, Jessica, Lisa, Bernadette, Brianna, Kristi, Tara, Lucy, Beth, Kara, Sharon, Laura, Katie and oh yes, Rebecca. In sharing my previous use of so many names a Rebecca who informed me of the chapter in the bible that listed thousands of names of the tribes in the Old Testament was then her request in turn was that I read this. She did have the flowing beautiful hair as I remember this request by her and that is how I recall this incident as I believe she hoped to save my soul as a bible thumper. It did not matter even if significant or not or a grand ceremony of my life; I would place this little tidbit in my subconscious. It would never be forgotten and always retained in memory. Like my chance use of the name Doris one time; was from a 6th grade girl at school but not in my class, who then went on to tell me about how she got the name Doris from her mother who always wanted to be like Doris Day who I knew nothing about. She explained with intense detail of the perky blond in movies and back then on Black and White TV who sang and kissed like it was for the first time with innocence that when she watched her Mother's face telling this story; she could see the emotional desire in her Mother for the very first time in her life. I told her she is lucky to have that and I wonder what that must feel like. As innocence goes we decided to kiss to find out. So my first kiss was not that kind of over the top feeling as you can imagine. It was not bad and more mechanical in nature as she did touch my shoulders as we knocked knees and we both licked our lips after wards trying to experience how we were supposed to feel. As I commemorate this to memory as a innocence grade school girl it would became a lasting treasure in the list of the first times in my life.
By this time the guy had the elbow on the bar with his chin resting in his hand and the drink in the other as he said; what's your name again? And so goes the spirit up in flames so to speak between this man and women. If this shared story was between two ladies, it would stroke the cord of a blessed encounter. That is what her spirit desired any way. My own frustration of my own composition has me sad and mad that I must and will expound on shared emotional romantic imaginary elements to produce absurd hallucination with no reality. This is where you stand in the Baptism sound logic; so leave it outside and enter at you own risk.
So here goes if you dare: The mood or actions in my mind lead me for that reason to that would result in or the other person I shared it with is the process of whatever I was feeling or trying to feel. Even if I did not realize it, the experience, want, need, reaction or notion is what I was aiming for. Even if I was blinded by the others or should I say blind-sided surprised or horrified by the opposing side of my equation of a name with the accompanying counter claim of the other party; so be it. Because of this I soon found out that my use of a name for my mood could be changed upside down by the other person. How dumb was I on a April day to use that name when after that my grade school first kiss girl told me she had to move away and I felt crushed; of course. Was it my dilution that the spirit was going to spare me pain or shame or guilt or insecurity as some magic shield to protect me; of course. Like this couple you began to appreciate a particular quality to my adventure that again I would use to protect me in any predicament I placed myself in or that the other person would have placed me in. What an excuse for off the wall behavior in my spirit. Of course that first little pang of evil thought that I should not be thinking would come to surface and why not. My face at this thought is pushing each face cheek higher and higher with the grin so evident that look out for the devil horns starting to peer pass my hair line and then may be in plain sight of that person involved with me and I am exposed. With this scale tipping way out of balance can be on many levels from the six grade to age sixty. Based on a little nasty curse word coming out the mouth of Marilyn compared to something on the other end of the really bad or of magnitudes extremely pushing the limits for that is way too much of an experience. That explodes into the life with my names of guilt vs. pleasure in just like the horns emerging; Marilyn did appear at more times in my life. It is a state of uninhibited immoral self-indulgence as simple as the piece of dark chocolate melting in your mouth to drive home the guilt or pleasure decadence. That minor league moment of chocolate with the contrast of the fever blow your mind essence that manifests both a physical reward along with my personification of the punishment I should have or must endure; either by my own discretion or by the companion in whatever deed was done. When the guilty pleasure comes together all in one transition is that moment in time when you don't care if you're the one in the drivers' seat or just the passenger along for the ride. If we missed a curve in the road, the exploited loss of identity was a risk I took several times over my substitute search to tilt my journey that revolved around another. Plus with equivalent amount of pain or pleasure that was calculated; this could be one sided as according to an exchange of my name and the others transgression for our relationship. This might be understood by both parties and then the other customer may not have any idea of the landside ready to smother them.
Or was it my need for that envious yearning to be like someone else. You know that I wish I was more like that person popping up in your head as your eyes look at that something you wanted. And I dare all "you" to let go don't judge or over analysis a time or moment to let go in that spirit of the experience.
Because with the Baptism in your spirit did offered immunity. It was as obvious as you ventured past the front door of light illuminating mysterious infused waves behind you or the pilgrim new to the watering hole. It was about a route up a mountain to reach that spirit; not a enormous erratic or systematic approach is not achieved in a rigid structure of consciousness; even if you were in a fog of a spirit; that was the appeal of that accessibility or relevance of the Baptism to the challenge of the mental stabilititititiitty. Ha-Ha, the use of those ts' prove the consciousness of the spirit with the hope to summit and go down the other side; plus not back the same way either. That is what is essential and no to rational analytical artificial bull shit. Oh wow!
Not your hifalutin all riled up version as some spirits charged all ahead full speed; like me elucidating commonsense ideas about morality of the chemical qualities of the over talkative or innocent but hypnotic persona known as me. Do you like that as the baptism drenches me like a rain faucet on top and three extra wall jets propelled on all sides of me in a genuine let loose of the flood gates; while with others at a lackadaisical slow lane trot. Some were only observers while others traveled in packs. Some had no idea of the coming of the spirit as it snuck up on them. Many a witness was on the stand that may have to defend their spirit with whom else a judge or jury that may be present. You may have a fellow witness or a lawyer at hand which some circumstances was required as a mandatory defense. This was mostly in the court of religion or politics which at most times was off limits; however with the spirits in power; oh lord hold on to your hats. If it should raise the temperatures to a high degree; that is when you hope the music would raise the roof to drown out the court proceedings. Religion or politics could spill blood; while the couples with the loving passion between them could be worst under a spell of that romantic notion as they got too close to the edge of the earth known as love turned to hate as they plunged over that precipice. That abyss could lead to a sheer cliff drop off or the spirits could be kind to soar the couple to new heights. But it was a gamble with most all the bystanders rooting for the happy ending.
Under the Baptism charm or hex came the bewitchment of that fascination of enchantment of attraction and the allure of two in a combination of talk, dance, reaction or spellbind mesmerize that could lead to that mountain top. As we all know though; to be hypnotized in our beliefs with a fantasy of another all blown up in our imagination may or usually is only a one way street. Oh the heart break as the spirit only enhanced that potion we were under while the other bore no reciprocal notion in return. The male of the species of course relate to this flaw in their makeup. The spirit could move a guy to fall in love at first sight. Or not to be out done; it could be any one of a party of two. Or for that matter any other mathematical equations scheming in the spirits. Like a one on two or two on two or whatever. Candidness or bluntness was a product of the Baptism in straightforwardness that could lead to deceit under the influence. The outspokenness candor was the slipperiness of the tongue that could cause great damage. The mouth regarded as the organ of speech had nothing to do with it. The spirit language from the tunnel of the brain out the mineshaft could erupt like a volcano of inappropriate or distaste or insincere or exert a fun happy good time story. Some called it deceitfulness that could be derived by shadiness or wickedness as we press for more nesses from the corruption of the spirits. Long live the Baptism as it moved out of the center of consciousness that generates thoughts, feelings, ideas, and perceptions which then memories are built.
For some the spirit caused the mental effort to ignore, overcome, or control something in that mind to be absent when the explosion of what came out of his month did not lead to the outcome he had hoped. The spirits lead to mistakes. Georges' wish after the spirit took control was more than he had any idea was going to happen. One guy, one time talking to two ladies who first said he looked just like someone they knew; but of course it was not him. As George maintained in his reflection as the spirit took over the more they talked the more he was wishing so hard he was that guy. He did not care about the tortuous path or the happen hazard of insanity waiting at the other end of this triangle. He showed no vulnerability or regard for how to venture to the other end of a triangle; as most of us know the peril of a end of a triangle. He did take the gamble and later the ladies agreed he was reminiscent of that someone they knew before. His risk of exposure was over ridden by the spirit and in return accepted by the other spirits. This was a probability that at first would have made George back off and instead the Baptism lottery had won him a fortune in his eyes for that night. Even only given half a chance on his own, but the spirit added the other half to go the distance.
Transpire or materialize to assume a physical form, or cause a supposed ghost or spirit to assume that persons' physical form was common custom for the passengers of the Baptism. Phenomena or not because there is no absolutes one who was shattering the mystic of the baptism spirit was Bob who jumped in all the way with none or no need for the spirit to pass by the relativity threshold to become one of those souls who did not need or want any wings to fly or no need for a parachute either. He was always all in; no matter the elements in the Baptism with any mumbo jumbo with no contradictions as that corresponding brain cell or a flock of cells moving together in the ideas of the mind and then living in the lofty area of the spirit flowed out in the verbalize voice expressed at the bar or out on the dance floor convey in words, movements or originate out of a dance move.
There was a border edging the dance floor that spirits loved to move past the edifice with any and all interpretation, comprehension or composition was not needed or applied as the spirit would let you go in any direction with no foundation required. No harm no foul was the rule of the night on the dance floor as times the mass assembled in the movements that would wreak havoc on others and you might have to take on a few minor dents or scratches on the chance when some band in the midnight hour would explode in the packed floor and then spill over and out past the out of bonds boundary of the dance floor to meet the seated spirits who tried to move back but were trapped in the space set aside for the late night loud fun music for dance. The freedom with no restraint or restriction with no limitation of movements that the spirits would maximize past both the perimeter of the floor or then past the rational, normalized or even legalized moves were all allowed. Plus mixed in was a couple moved in synchronized, coordinated, orchestrated balance of the pair in partner to complement their dance that sometimes even got their own applause from the band after a song who appreciated the couples' union and alliance to a structured performance to the music. Twirling and spinning to the rhythmically steps was enhancement with emotion from the spirits. The assortment mishmash mixture of the dance floor movers and shakers was the epic center of the spirits unleashing themselves in a jamboree to revel in festivity. Again you could feel the fragrance of the collective consciousness; not a vague scent with slippage or loneliness; it was overpowering to both wallow in and relish in the jubilation of it all.
That merriment was a commemoration of emotional fairness with the carnival of the Baptism and the parade of the pageant moved to the tables, booths and barstools as if the street party moved to adjacent sidewalk area as the lingering few remained on the dance floor waiting for more music or just to exchange spirits. Inflections added at this time was the standing room only crowd with just for a minute the overwhelming music stopped and only loud conversations still shouting came evasive talk avoided and danced around with maneuver of some squarely or some not at all with the flow of movement to the bar for an additional concoction of ingredients to mix up the spirits.
The Baptism procession shinned in a gauntlet of what you truly were deep down with the miracle of liberation. Opportunity with that spirit of invincibility simultaneously proved between howling with hysteria of laughter was the best spirit that would visit you. Uncontrollably laugh out loud orgasmic happiness while slipping off your throne of a barstool without injury moved within the Baptism. If you were lucky enough to witness this service preformed you wanted to be a regular member always receiving communion with the hope a spirit would ignite in you too and not burn out. . . . .
thanks for reading,